I was invited to lunch by a division manager before my maternity leave and was chatting with him over tempura rice bowl. The following was a conversation between he and I.

Manager: “Your pregnancy was such big news! Congratulations on becoming a mother.”

I: “Thank you very much. I’m really looking forward to it.”

Manager: “Have you already filed your marriage paper, by the way?”

I: “No. We’ve discussed that and decided not to have our marriage registered.”

Manager: “Why not? You should have your marriage registered.”

I: “Neither of us wants to change our surnames, and there are other several different reasons. Anyway, we don’t see a particular point in marriage registration.”

Manager: “That’s just a selfish adults’ reason. I feel sorry for your child.”

Hearing his comment, I just gave a bitter laugh and didn’t talk about that anymore. Does he sorry for our child? How so? There are a lot of couples under common law marriage, and a lot of families living happily without marriage registration. There are also quite a few dysfunctional “legal” families.

If we don’t have our marriage registered, does It simply make our child unhappy?

I did not understand on what grounds he made such a remark. I thought in my mind what a narrow-minded and ignorant person he is.

In the first place, he does not have a right to deny my lifestyle or my choice.

I believe the most important thing for children is that their parents raise them with love. It’s not about if their parents filed their marriage paper.

Original article by umechosu, YY-WAN
Translated by A. Tawara