I was invited to lunch by a division manager before my maternity leave and was chatting with him over tempura rice bowl. The following was a conversation between he and I.
Manager: “Your pregnancy was such big news! Congratulations on becoming a mother.”
I: “Thank you very much. I’m really looking forward to it.”
Manager: “Have you already filed your marriage paper, by the way?”
I: “No. We’ve discussed that and decided not to have our marriage registered.”
Manager: “Why not? You should have your marriage registered.”
I: “Neither of us wants to change our surnames, and there are other several different reasons. Anyway, we don’t see a particular point in marriage registration.”
Manager: “That’s just a selfish adults’ reason. I feel sorry for your child.”
Hearing his comment, I just gave a bitter laugh and didn’t talk about that anymore. Does he sorry for our child? How so?
There are a lot of couples under common law marriage, and a lot of families living happily without marriage registration. There are also quite a few dysfunctional “legal” families.
If we don’t have our marriage registered, does It simply make our child unhappy?
I did not understand on what grounds he made such a remark. I thought in my mind what a narrow-minded and ignorant person he is.
In the first place, he does not have a right to deny my lifestyle or my choice.
I believe the most important thing for children is that their parents raise them with love. It’s not about if their parents filed their marriage paper.
Original article by umechosu, YY-WAN
Translated by A. Tawara
2017.06.19 Mon
カテゴリー:Essays